There’s no real point to this blog, there are a few things that I just wanted to ramble about I guess… although that’s what a blog is for, right?!
Rambling #1 is about verbs. Two first person singular conjugations of French verbs in particular; je veux and je vais (I want and I go). I’m not sure what it is about these two verbs, not sure at all what makes me want to use them as if they’re the same word. For all you non-francophones out there when speaking in the future tense it’s common to use the verb to go for example, je vais parler rather than, the more formal, je parlerai. Simple enough yes? So why do I always find myself saying je veux instead of je vais – je veux parler, it makes sense but it is not what I want to say and I find myself doing it all the time with no explanation, surely it’s not just because they begin with the same letters, that would be incredibly “maternelle” of me!
Rambling #2 is that I found a news article the other day, in my local paper from back home. My mum finds it incredibly weird that I know what’s happening in Bolton before she does and I’m not there anymore, but I just like reading the news. But yeah, back on track, the article is all about celebrities talking to their former 16 year old selves and I thought about what I would say to the 16 year old me. After a good think I decided that there isn’t much I would tell myself in order to change what has happened in my life. Maybe I’d warn myself about people who have broken my heart and maybe to study more in school especially in French; being a geek when your 16 might not be cool at all but it certainly pays off in the future. I think the main thing I will tell myself is not to worry, nothing really matters all that much in the grand scheme of things. I’ve put myself through hell worrying about “what if…” and none of it is ever really relevant. “What if..”‘s are pointless, completely pointless – next time I’m going to say to myself “so what?”
My rambling #3 is that my God did I feel old at school today. Obviously I am older than most people in the school grounds… being that it’s a primary school, but I just felt older and more responsible than I am for some odd reason today. I’m not sure if it is my recent, more sensible, less erratic frame of mind?Maybe it’s the fact that, due to being the sole teacher of English in one of my schools today, the kids are treating me as an actual teacher? Perhaps the reason is just simply I am getting old? I caught myself in the (rather handy) corridor mirror earlier and I just thought Christ I look like I’ve aged a few years over night. Maybe it’s my dangly earrings (I don’t often wear them afertall), maybe it’s the simplicity of my clothing (no statement items today), or maybe the recent stress of everyday life has just, like I said, aged me overnight! I guess only time will tell… and by then I really will be older, even if it is just by days!